Today was a rather introspective day, and I just found myself thinking, "Am I happy?"
I don't really know how I feel about my life right now. It is relatively boring, at least compared to last year, and other than knowing that I want to be a doctor or a vet, I have virtually no direction.
I have absolutely zero love interests, but instead my conscience is wrought with the awkward memories involving boys from the past year.
I haven't felt something strong in a long time. I used to feel things so deeply--too deeply--and now I feel utterly numb. I can chalk that up to the cocktail of medications I take every day, but in all honestly you don't go cold unless you let yourself. I've done that. I let myself forget who I am, and how much love I have to give.
But that aside, what right to I have to even think for a second that I am not happy? I have a family and friends that love me, a roof over my head, enough money to fund my distractions, opportunities (though not taken ones) out the wazoo, not to mention clean water and a substantial food supply. You'd be surprised how many people cannot say the same for themselves.
I don't need to dissect that sentiment for you. You know what I am trying to say. Be fucking grateful.
