Am I Happy?

Today was a rather introspective day, and I just found myself thinking, "Am I happy?"

I don't really know how I feel about my life right now. It is relatively boring, at least compared to last year, and other than knowing that I want to be a doctor or a vet, I have virtually no direction.

I have absolutely zero love interests, but instead my conscience is wrought with the awkward memories involving boys from the past year.

I haven't felt something strong in a long time. I used to feel things so deeply--too deeply--and now I feel utterly numb. I can chalk that up to the cocktail of medications I take every day, but in all honestly you don't go cold unless you let yourself. I've done that. I let myself forget who I am, and how much love I have to give.

But that aside, what right to I have to even think for a second that I am not happy? I have a family and friends that love me, a roof over my head, enough money to fund my distractions, opportunities (though not taken ones) out the wazoo, not to mention clean water and a substantial food supply. You'd be surprised how many people cannot say the same for themselves.

I don't need to dissect that sentiment for you. You know what I am trying to say. Be fucking grateful.

Just a Reminder

I have a few reminders for anyone who is reading…

You are your own person.

You have your own thoughts.

You have your own feelings.

You have your own scent.

You have your own gait.

You have your own darkness.

You have your own dreams.

You have your own past.

You have your own future.

You have your own choices.

You have your own pet peeves.

You have your own interests.

You have your own mouth. Your own eyes. Your own mind.

In a society obsessed with the idea of "owning" things, why would you ever cede those most precious, intrinsic assets to the fleeting and twisted interests of another? After all, what is more valuable than an irreplaceable gem that has been worn to it's unique shape by trial and time?

Keep Up.

It seems simple, yet I find myself constantly having to be reminded of it. It is true--life goes on! And if you don't jump on and keep moving forward with it, you are doing yourself a major disservice. 

I am completely stuck in the past. I obsess about what could have been or what I should have done or how I can make things now like they were before. 

You seriously HAVE to keep going. Or else everyone and everything else will pass you by and you'll be floundering in the past--alone.

Of course, it's easier said than done, and I am no expert on the matter. In fact, I am just trying to figure out how to carry on myself. But I do have a few ideas:

Challenge yourself. Set a goal. Do something that you have to work towards. For example, I have a race that I am going to run later this month. So, I am preparing for that.

Let it go. Remember these things: if something is meant to happen, it will, and everything happens for a reason. No matter how much hurt you have darkening your past, you can learn from your mistakes--and the mistakes of others--to make better your future. Accept what has been, and move on. You cannot change the past. Every day brings with it a million opportunities--don't miss out on them because you are dwelling on the past.

Know what is ahead of you. Sometimes, you just need to be reminded of the path that you are on and what it leads to. What keeps me going is knowing that one day, I will be a doctor. It helps to put things into perspective when you step back and see the big picture.

Life is too short to waste on the petty issues of our past. Don't let yourself fall into that trap.

Hair Repair 101

Hey everyone! I know I haven't posted in a long, long, time and I'm so sorry! I promise I haven't forgotten about this blog!

Let's get right back to it!

Recently, I got purple streaks put in my hair. I love them, but the fact that my hairdresser had to bleach my hair first means that my hair is FRIED. Like, I haven't even had it this bad before.

It's been almost two weeks, and I've made a lot of progress. I still need to be really careful and persistent with the treatments, but my hair feels a little bit less straw-like and breakable.

It kills me, because my natural hair is actually really healthy, and I totally messed it up! It is going to take forever for the broken strands to grow back, too. :(

But I'm gonna take extra good care of my hair, and I'll let you in on my tips!!!

1. I've talked about this product line before, but I'll bring it up again. I literally swear by it; it's the L'Oreal EverCreme Intense Nourishing shampoo, conditioner, and leave-in conditioner. I use all three every day, and ever since I started using that line about a year ago, I have noticed a huge difference in the smoothness and elasticity of my hair. I still have a lot of coarse hair, but it is much less unruly than it was with any other hair products, and trust me, I've tried a lot.

2. Coconut Oil is the next best thing I have found for my hair. I started using it about a month or so ago, and I immediately noticed my hair feeling softer and healthier. What I do is scoop a lot out of the jar, turn upside-down, and smooth the oil down the length of my hair from my scalp towards the ends. After that is saturated, I'll smooth some over the top layer of my hair, focusing on the ends, and the roots of my hair at the back of my head. These are my problem areas, so obvious you should cater the process to fit your hair. I put my hair up into a top bun with a clip, put a shower cap on, and leave it for an hour. You can use a hair dryer to really help the oil to absorb--blast your hair, with the shower cap on, for about 10 minutes.

When you wash it out, you will notice that there is some residue. You can shampoo again, but if you don't need to look particularly nice, I would leave it in. I promise it won't look as greasy as you think! Condition like normal, and when you hair dries I promise you'll be stunned! I do this about twice a week.

3. Organix Hydrating Macadamia Oil. This deep conditioning treatment is a newer addition to my routine, and I use it every other day on the days I don't use coconut oil. After you wet your hair, you smooth it into your hair and leave it for 5 minutes (while you shave, for example), and rinse. It also makes your hair feel soft and luminous!

4. Heat Protection. So, as weird as it sound, straightening my hair actually makes it look less fried. Since my strands are such different lengths now, it looks better when they are all going in the same direction, which they don't do naturally. So, in order to keep my hair from getting fried again, I use two main products to beat the heat: Organix Extra Strength Moroccan Argan Oil and Got2B Guardian Angel Flat Iron Balm. The oil is seriously amazing for giving your hair movement and shine, and the "balm" (its a spray) is new to me, but seems to really protect my hair from damage.

5. Vitamins! Okay, you've most likely heard of Biotin before. Biotin is a vitamin that is most commonly used to support hair and nail growth. I know it works, because I have tried it multiple times, but it also makes me break out every time I try it. So, that isn't really an option for me, but a simple multivitamin can still give your skin, nails, and hair the vitamins and minerals they need.

6. Water is so important! I know you've heard it a million times, but it is so, so true that drinking lots of water helps you in so many ways. As far as your hair goes, it just increases it's general health, helping it to grow in stronger and healthier than before.  It also helps me to feel focused, more energetic, and also it clears up your skin!

Check out my new blog!

Hey everyone! I have started a new blog, just for college students! It will be all about life in college: what to wear, how to study, how to deal with stress, and even things like how to deal with boys and greek life!

I'd love for you to go check it out, I'm really excited about it!

Click on the picture below to pop over!

Thanks guys!

Think About It.

Follow Me!

People, I have a twitter! I realized that I've never told you guys about it. So....FOLLOW ME! :)

Take Control!

Ladies! Get ready to feel inspired. My goal for this post is to rally the troops to make the world of man/girl interaction a better, more equal place.

Let's face it--things are not equal right now. Think about how much more guys can get away with in a relationship then girls can. I'm not saying we aren't ever hard on guys--God knows we can be, but think about the flirting phase of a relationship. Does the guy not control the game? Do you not have to act EXACTLY the way society tells you to? Isn't asserting yourself not allowed?

I mean, let's be real. There are times when you want to text a guy 600 times asking why you aren't good enough. Yeah, its crazy and counterproductive, but you've had that urge. And why the hell shouldn't you? Because it will shatter your perfectly crafted image of demure subservience?

F*ck that sh*t!

I'm not saying send all the things that pop into your head, because restraining orders won't help anyone, but you know what I mean. Like, if you want to make the first move, make it! If you want to tell a guy you want more from the relationship, do it! If you want to tell a guy that he is a self-obsessed, womanizing douchebag that isn't even that hot, go for it! We can take back the power! We just have to stop being so concerned about coming off as dainty, meek little girls.

You've got an inner beeyatch, and you know it. Let her out to breath once in a while! Find an assh*le, and give him a piece of your sassy, empowered mind.

We always blame our heartbreaks on the guy. And by no means am I saying they aren't at fault. But ladies, we have to stop letting them do that to us! We have to own our love lives and take control of the situations we get into with men. You don't need to have more power than the guy, but view yourself as an equal to him! Because guess what? YOU ARE.



Alright, that's all for my little rant. I hope I got through to someone.

lots of love,

neena

Another Change.

Hey, everyone! It's been over three months since I've written. There are a lot of reasons for that, but basically, I've been changing.

I'm still me--I have the same personality, same friends, same dreams. But I am trying to connect to a more spiritual version of myself. I have made a lot of mistakes in the past year. More than I care to think about. And I've come to realize that I'm on a road to nowhere. Something has to change. 

I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to handle it, but this blog is going to become more devoted to finding yourself in the insane world and less focused on beauty, celebrities, and so on.

As women, we need to be each other's support system. We have to be there for each other. There is no other option. So I am here for you. I am going to open up to you--I'm going to put everything out there. Not because I want everyone to know my dirt, but because I know I'm not the only one going through a tough time. Of course, I don't mean I will give you the dirty little details of my life, but I won't be as reserved as I have been in the past. 

Please, spread the word to your friends and family that might benefit from a place to go and read about other people's experiences with the same issues they are facing.

It can be the difference between...you know.

As always,

neena

Today's Fitness Motivation

The word of the day is:

There is no point in getting fit if you aren't going to be consistent! You can do a super intense workout once every two weeks and I promise you you won't see significant results. You have got to aim high!

You can do it!

xoxo,

OSCARS

OH MY GOODNESS THE OSCARS.

Obviously, a big part of the night is the discussion over what everyone is wearing. These are a few of my favorites that I saw!

1. Jennifer Lawrence in Dior
It is hard not to love JLaw with her intense relate-ability combined with her knack for consistently wowing us on the red carpet. Her dress tonight was so gorgeous, starting out simply enough and then erupting once it passed her hips. Do you know what I loved the most about her outfit, though? The long pearl strand hanging down her back. That was the icing on the cake for me.

2. Sally Field in Valentino
Sally knows how to age gracefully. She has been beautiful through each phase of her wonderful, talent-filled life, and yet I was still surprised by how perfect she looked tonight! That gorgeous red hue was perfect for her coloring, I think, and the bottom of the gown just killed me as it fluttered behind her.

3. Catherine Zeta Jones in Zuhair Murad
Oh my God. This gilded nude dress made me go blind for a minute, and in the best way possible. She looks like an Oscar herself! It had a very 20s-esque feel to it, with the exception of the neckline which was slightly reminiscent of the '50s bodices to me.

4. Maria Menounos in Romona Keveza
THIS BITCH. She always looks perfect. It's those damn Greek genes. Seriously, have you ever met an unattractive Greek? But that is beside the point. This dress makes me want to scream, it is so amazing. The color, the shape, the ACCESSORIES. Ahhhhhhhhh I am legitimately swooning over this dress.

And the Man of the Night goes to....

Bradley Cooper.

Apparently, Kristin Chenoweth got so frazzled at one point before the show that she lost her shoe in the vastness of her dress. Bradley Cooper, being the teetotaler gentleman that he is, bent down, lifted up her hemline, found her shoe, and put it on her foot for her.

CINDERELLA, ANYBODY?!?

In addition, when JLaw fell on her was to accept her award for best actress, Bradley immediately showed up with a hand outstretched to help her back up. She didn't utilize his offer, but still. He wins all the award in my book.

xoxo,

February Wishlist

I'll make this short and sweet: I want things. 

Yes, I am a shameless shopaholic. I can't help it.

Well, I could if I wanted to, but I don't. So.

Here are the things that visit me in my dreams...

1. This ADORABLE bow from ColorDrop on Etsy.

2. Also from Etsy, these killer shades from txpgrove. 

3. Beach Glass Chuck Taylors.

4. Urban Decay's Naked 2 Palette from Sephora.

5. This Mercedes from Heaven...

That is all for now! 

xoxo,

My Tried-and-Trues

I am not one to buy the same product over and over again.

I'm constantly trying out new products, rarely re-purchasing.

But there are some things that I can't deny are simply the best, and I have found myself buying them time and time again!

Here they are, my tried-and-true products:

For my face:

Trader Joe's All-in-One Facial Cleanser. Trust me, I am the last person to expect anything good from a generic, simple facewash, but WHOA. I don't know what it is about this one, but it leaves my skin clean, smooth, and clear! Like, WHAT?

Nelson's Pure & Clear Nourishing Moisturizer for Acne Care. This is yet ANOTHER health foods store purchase! I got this from Whole Foods, and again, my skin feels instantly smoother and clearer. Good stuff!!!

For my hair:

Loreal EverCreme Intense Nourishing Shampoo, Conditioner, and Leave-in Spray. Guys. I hate buying the same hair products. Trust my, I have tried to stray from this stuff, but I keep crawling back. It makes your hair soft, tangle-free, and shiny! For real! Look, I have some really annoying hair--some of it is super kinky and coarse, some of it is super fine, and the rest is in the middle. This line is the only thing that smoothes the kinks, hydrates the brittle ends, and leaves my hair feeling super healthy. Ever since I started using it, I keep getting comments on how healthy and pretty my hair is!

For my body:

Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula Massage Lotion of Stretch Marks. I started using this stuff a few years ago when I realized that I had stretch marks all over my butt and upper thighs. I had tried Bio Oil and Mederma and just about every other stretch-mark treatment there was out there, but this one worked the best, and the fastest. I still use it to prevent more of those pesky purple lines from showing up, and I have started using it all over my body just because 1) it smells so good and comforting, and 2) it seriously leaves your skin even-toned and glowing. A must-have, even if you don't have stretch marks! And if you do, I have a quick word to say: Don't be ashamed. Our bodies cannot be perfect. Those lines show that you are becoming a woman or a mother. Both wonderful things. They show how hard it is to be a woman, and that you are tough. Love your body, stretch marks and all!

Caress Passionate Spell Body Wash in Passionfruit and Fiery Orange Rose. I originally bought this because I was out of soap and wanted a super cheap one. This one happened to smell really good, so I nabbed it. First off, it leaves your body smelling SO sexy, and also I've noticed that my skin feels even and smooth. It isn't advertised as anything other than a good-smelling soap, but I really think it does good things for your skin!

Other:

Colgate Total Advanced Whitening Paste. Ever since I started using this toothpaste, I've noticed that my teeth are significantly whiter! My smile is brighter and my teeth feel so, so clean. 

A+D First Aid Ointment. Okay, this one goes way back. My mom used to use this on my sister and I for DIAPER RASH. Like, that's 23 years ago. (My sister turns 23 today!) I use it on literally everything. You know how, in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the dad believes Windex can fix everything? That's how I am with A+D. I put it on my eyebrows and eyelashes to make them grow (seriously it works. SERIOUSLY.), on my lips to moisturize them, and on scars to fade them. I literally swear by this stuff. When I die, I want to be buried with two things: my Guns 'N Roses CD and a tube of A+D.

Alright, there you have it! My favorite products of all time. I would not post about them if I didn't believe they are the best of the best. Try them out, let me know what you think!

xoxo,

Layla Hologram Effect Nail Polish in 08 Flash Black

Holy crap you guys.

I am obsessed with this nail polish. I got it on sale at Ulta and and hardcore in LOVE.

Like, it is my valentine.

It is...drumroll please...

Layla Hologram Effect! Usually it is super pricey (I think like $20), but I got it for $6! So I obviously bought two.

Here is my favorite: 08 Flash Black

Look at it.

LOOK AT IT.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

I applied two coats and a topcoat of Seche Vite Dry Fast TopCoat, which is another reason in and of itself to celebrate. It dried so quickly and my nails are super shiny!

So, here is my advice: If you can find Layla nail polish for cheap anywhere, GET IT. It doesn't look very promising in the bottle, but I swear to Chanel it is worth it!

xoxo,

Respect yourself.

Ladies, I have a very important message for you.

It is time to respect yourself.

We talk about self-love and all that good stuff, but I have news for you: if you can't respect yourself, you can't love yourself.

What does it mean to respect yourself?

Know what is good for you, and seek those things out.

Know what is bad for you, and avoid those things.

Allow yourself to feel things fully.

Nourish yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Know that it is okay to be afraid.

Know that it is okay to be different.

Embrace all of your facets: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Once you can practice these things, you can start to respect yourself, appreciate yourself, and, one day, love yourself.

I say all of this, but don't take me for some sort of self-respecting, strong woman. I am so far from respecting myself that its scary. There is a difference between knowing what is good for you and doing what is good for you.

When we respect ourselves, we automatically demand respect from others. When we do that, women, we are a force of nature.

We can be amazing. We just have to take it one step at a time.

xoxo,

You are enough.

Hey, you! Yeah, you. I have a secret for you: you are wonderful.

No matter what you may feel about yourself, know this, at least on a cognitive level: you are enough. Your life so far has formed you into a special, one-of-a-kind person. You may have gotten some scrapes along the way, but those scrapes just show people all you've triumphed over. You don't feel like you've triumphed over your obstacles? Well, you have. You are still moving, right? Still living? Still hoping? That shows that you are at least in the process of defeating those hurdles.

You are enough.

You are enough.

You are enough.

Someone--actually, quite a few someones--want to know you. They want to take the time to figure out what makes you tick; to explore the nooks and crannies of your mindset, your history, and your personality. They want you to open up to them, and they want to open up to you. They want to love you.

And you might think, "but what if I never find those people?" Honey, trust me. You will. It is in the cards. There is a purpose to this life, and we can't possibly fulfill that purpose without love.  Whatever or whoever created this life and it's purpose knows that we need love, and wants us to succeed in fulfilling our purpose, so they have put love in our futures. Also, loving feels good. So let others love you, and don't be afraid to love them back.

One other thing, just in case you feel like you will never find those people: I love you. I do! I love that you are reading my thoughts, and that you are a part of this world with me.

I love you with all your flaws--even more because of them, actually. I love I will never know anyone else just like you, and that the strange ways of our universe have crossed our paths, even if only for this fleeting moment in the grand scheme of life.

You are enough for me. You are more than enough. You fill me up with happiness and hope! Humanity has a funny way of doing that. Just think about the ridiculous world we live in... How insane our society is, and yet we are all searching to be "normal." What is normal in a world of the utterly bizarre? It's so silly of us! And yet we take ourselves so seriously.

The oxymorons we live are baffling to me, and yet I love it. I love that we need conflict to survive. I love that, when I am feeling lower than dirt, I can think about the fact that there is no way I am the first person to go through this. And that there are million of people out there to be inspired by!

I know my train of thought here is confusing, but I am so in awe of this immensely confounding life and all of the facets of it. And do you know why? Because of people like you.

You inspire me.

You give me hope.

You keep me alive.

xoxo,

Nails!!

Hey everyone! I did a fun manicure yesterday and thought I would share it!

 I started with two coats of China Glaze Pool Party:

Then put a coat of Sinful Colors Glass Pink on top!

And the result is a fun, neon, sparkly color!! 

hope you like!

xoxo,

B*tch I am Fabulous!

Ladies, you are fabulous. Each and every one of you, in your own special way. Own it! This playlist is great for putting some sass in your step and a sparkle in your smile.

1. Bad Girls by M.I.A
2. Show Stopper by Danity Kane
3. Upgrade U by Beyonce
4.Till The World Ends (The Femme Fatale Remix) by Britney Spears
5. I'm Not Your Toy by La Roux
6. Potential Breakup Song by Aly & AJ
7. Paper Planes by M.I.A
8. Outta My Head by Leona Lewis
9. Unstoppable by Kat DeLuna
10. Blue Jeans by Jessie James
11. Rapture by Alicia Keys
12. Jenny from the Block by Jennifer Lopez
13. Run the World (Girls) by Beyonce
14. Cherry Bomb by The Runaways
15. Pile of Gold by The Blow
16. Prima Donna by Christina Aguilera
17. Sassy by Kat Graham
18. Bottoms Up by Keke Palmer
19. Pretty Girl Rock by Keri Hilson
20. Beautiful, Dirty, Rich by Lady GaGa
21. Wait a Minute by The Pussycat Dolls
22. When I Grow Up by The Pussycat Dolls
23. Louboutins by Jennifer Lopez

Enjoy, and go Shine!

xoxo,

Two Mascara Reviews!

I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but I have a bit of a mascara obsession, and I know I'm not the only one! So I am going to review two mascaras-- the one I have been using (Revlon Grow Luscious Plumping) and the one I bought today (Maybelline Colossal Volume).


Revlon Grow Luscious Plumping Mascara:

I like this one because it goes on very smoothly, but it can clump really easily. Also, I have to work really hard to get my corner lashes. 

Maybelline Colossal Volume:

Although this one gets my corner lashes more easily, it isn't as dramatic as the Revlon. However, it does look more natural.

Both seem like good mascaras, so it just depends on what type of formula you prefer!

xoxo,